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Learning to Live with Hope: The Reset Challenge

    So the title of this blog post suggests that I’m doing something a little different. Amy is still, and will always be, my inspiration for living life differently. I just made a decision to challenge myself by making small changes that may result in big results.     At the beginning of the year I made the usual New Years resolution, just like everyone else. And guess what? I failed within the week. Big surprise there, or not. I did keep the ideas fresh in my mind and continued to tell myself I would pursue them. Today I did it.     First I made a HUGE commitment to have a “No Spend” month. The author Ruth Soukup wrote several books on budgeting. I have owned one “Living Well, Spending Less” for years. The pages have barely been turned! Since I had yet another month of poor budget choices I decided ENOUGH ALREADY! So I’m doing it. Freeze on the frivolous spending. Only necessities. I’m hopeful this will put us in a position to payoff all debt and get ba...
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Learning to Live with Hope: Day 180

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       Wow, it's been 180 days since you left us Amy.  Its been 178 days since I've taken the time to write. I hate to admit it, but once all of the formalities of losing Amy were over I didn't make all of the changes I promised I would.  I went back to work, got overwhelmed, and let the daily items take over.  Ugh.       I didn't necessarily plan to pick TODAY as the day I would get back to writing.  I have been thinking about it for quite a while.  I did decide that instead of allowing the day to take over with my work to-do's and distractions that I would take the time to do it.  So here we are.       Last night I dedicated my time to tucking my kids into bed, praising them for an awesome job on their 1st grade program and gave them a few extra minutes of snuggles.  When I crawled into Macy's bed with her I knew something was up.  I asked her what we going on and at first she...
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Learning to Live with Hope: Day 2

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  This morning I woke up and got ready for my day as always.  Shower, get dressed, wake up kids, eat breakfast, out the door...  So what, you ask?  Why does this matter and why is she writing about it?  I suppose I am feeling the effects of Survivors Guilt.  I don't feel right getting up and going about my day as usual.  I don't know what else I would be doing but shouldn't I be doing something different?      As I said in my last post, Amy and I weren't on a talk-every-single-day routine, so no, I'm not missing that.  I am, however, struggling to do the everyday things that just plain don't matter right now.  Last night I organized my closet and put away laundry.  In the end does that stuff matter?  NO!  Spending time with my kids, yes, that absolutely matters.  I did do my best to not be distracted when we were together last night and tried my best not to nit pick at the stupid things.  Let them be...
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Learning to Live with Hope: Day 1

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If you are a part of my life, in-person or via social media, you know that I lost someone that was truly precious to me last week.  Amy Louise Davenport was not only my cousin, she was my soul twin.  You can find a thousand quotes out there talking about how your cousins can be your best friends in life, but those quotes don’t apply.  It wasn’t just a we-talked-all-the-time friendship, it wasn’t a we-saw-each-other-for-every-holiday relationship.  We didn’t do either, to be very honest.  There was an invisible bond that only we understood.  If you ever saw us together you probably caught a glimpse of it. So why am I just now “learning to live with hope”?  Because, it’s what Amy did.  That is who she was.  She was someone that had endured pain, heartache, and hurt beyond anything the average person can begin to understand.  As a teenager she lost her best friend, her brother Jeremy.  Those two also had a bond beyond their si...
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